Anonymous
04-04-2004, 06:55 PM
(1)Why did the 3 blondes jump off the building?
They wanted to see if their maxi-pads really had wings.
(2)Why can't a blonde dial 911?
She can't find the eleven.
(3)A blonde went to eletronic store and she asked, "How is much is this TV?" The salesman said, "Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes."
The next day she came back as a brunette. She asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes."
The next day she came back as a red head and asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry we don''t sell to blondes."
She replied, " I came in here as a brunette and a red head. How do you know I am a blonde?" "Because that is not a TV, it''s a microwave."
(4)Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake.
One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?" "You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.
(5) A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts. A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" "Why, officer?" asks the blonde. "Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed." "Oh my goodness," exclaims the blonde, "I left my baby on the bus!"
(6)One day 2 blondes walked into a tanning salon. One blonde said, " A tan for 2 please!" The cashier said, " Ok," filled out a form for them and asked, "are you two sisters?" They chuckled and replied, " No, we aren't even Catholic."
(7)How do you keep a blonde busy? (see below)
How do you keep a blonde busy? (see above)
(8 )A smart blonde, a stupid blonde and Santa Claus play poker, who wins? The stupid blonde because the other two don't exist.
(9)One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business.
While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream. Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating. She said, "I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed them back in."
(10) One day, a brunette was skipping on some train tracks singing "21, 21, 21, 21,...'''' Along came a blonde who thought it looked like fun.
So she joined in and started singing "21, 21, 21, 21," and then a train came. The brunette jumped off the tracks but the train ran over the blonde. The brunette got back on the train tracks and started singing "22, 22, 22, 22,....."
They wanted to see if their maxi-pads really had wings.
(2)Why can't a blonde dial 911?
She can't find the eleven.
(3)A blonde went to eletronic store and she asked, "How is much is this TV?" The salesman said, "Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes."
The next day she came back as a brunette. She asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes."
The next day she came back as a red head and asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry we don''t sell to blondes."
She replied, " I came in here as a brunette and a red head. How do you know I am a blonde?" "Because that is not a TV, it''s a microwave."
(4)Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake.
One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?" "You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.
(5) A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts. A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" "Why, officer?" asks the blonde. "Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed." "Oh my goodness," exclaims the blonde, "I left my baby on the bus!"
(6)One day 2 blondes walked into a tanning salon. One blonde said, " A tan for 2 please!" The cashier said, " Ok," filled out a form for them and asked, "are you two sisters?" They chuckled and replied, " No, we aren't even Catholic."
(7)How do you keep a blonde busy? (see below)
How do you keep a blonde busy? (see above)
(8 )A smart blonde, a stupid blonde and Santa Claus play poker, who wins? The stupid blonde because the other two don't exist.
(9)One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business.
While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream. Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating. She said, "I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed them back in."
(10) One day, a brunette was skipping on some train tracks singing "21, 21, 21, 21,...'''' Along came a blonde who thought it looked like fun.
So she joined in and started singing "21, 21, 21, 21," and then a train came. The brunette jumped off the tracks but the train ran over the blonde. The brunette got back on the train tracks and started singing "22, 22, 22, 22,....."