Soup Nazi
13-10-2003, 11:56 PM
The Most Venomous Snake in the World:
NAME: "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake)
LOCATION: Throughout the world
DESCRIPTION: Varying from pink to black. Fangless, with a
highly venomous spit. Size varies from 3 to 12 inches,
depending on its mood and subspecies.
SYMPTOMS: This snake attacks, mainly women, in the lower
front abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then, a
severe swelling, followed by excruciating pain after nine
months. The attack is not usually fatal. However, it has been
known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen, which may
result in an incurable disease and possible death.
HABITAT: Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to
appear in the most unusual places.
ANTIDOTE: Various types of vaccine available for women.
However, once the venom is injected into the body, only
drastic measures will ensure complete recovery. There is no
known antidote for men.
WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED:
TORNIQUET: Do not apply a torniquet, as the venom is too
deep in the body to be affected.
CUTTING THE WOUND: This would be completely unnecessary and
ineffective as the bleeding will stop after a few weeks
anyhow.
SUCKING THE WOUND: This method is the most popular with the
victim, but so far has not been reported to have led to any
success.
MILKING THE SNAKE:
1. Place 4 fingers of the right hand around the neck of the
reptile, with the thumb in the front.
2. Grip firmly and move the hand in an upwards and downwards
motion.
3. This will result in the snake becoming highly aggressive
and start spitting.
4. The time taken for this milking process depends entirely
on the milker and the last time the snake attacked.
5. Once milked, the snake should be harmless for about 20
minutes.
CONCLUSION: This snake, although it is very aggressive and
active, is not necessarily a vermin and treated with the
right respect, makes a wonderful pet.
NAME: "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake)
LOCATION: Throughout the world
DESCRIPTION: Varying from pink to black. Fangless, with a
highly venomous spit. Size varies from 3 to 12 inches,
depending on its mood and subspecies.
SYMPTOMS: This snake attacks, mainly women, in the lower
front abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then, a
severe swelling, followed by excruciating pain after nine
months. The attack is not usually fatal. However, it has been
known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen, which may
result in an incurable disease and possible death.
HABITAT: Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to
appear in the most unusual places.
ANTIDOTE: Various types of vaccine available for women.
However, once the venom is injected into the body, only
drastic measures will ensure complete recovery. There is no
known antidote for men.
WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED:
TORNIQUET: Do not apply a torniquet, as the venom is too
deep in the body to be affected.
CUTTING THE WOUND: This would be completely unnecessary and
ineffective as the bleeding will stop after a few weeks
anyhow.
SUCKING THE WOUND: This method is the most popular with the
victim, but so far has not been reported to have led to any
success.
MILKING THE SNAKE:
1. Place 4 fingers of the right hand around the neck of the
reptile, with the thumb in the front.
2. Grip firmly and move the hand in an upwards and downwards
motion.
3. This will result in the snake becoming highly aggressive
and start spitting.
4. The time taken for this milking process depends entirely
on the milker and the last time the snake attacked.
5. Once milked, the snake should be harmless for about 20
minutes.
CONCLUSION: This snake, although it is very aggressive and
active, is not necessarily a vermin and treated with the
right respect, makes a wonderful pet.