RavenKittie
21-01-2005, 11:30 AM
Management has charged me with ensuring our Out of Office messages are
> uniform across the company.
>
> Please choose an appropriate response from the list below.
>
>
>
>
> 1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I
> fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
>
>
> 2. I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.
>
>
> 3. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of
> the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received
> anything at all.
>
>
> 4. Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain
> removed so that I may be promoted to management.
>
>
> 5. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you
> send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and
> your mail will
> be deleted in the order it was received.
>
>
> 6. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99
> for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your
> message
>
>
> 7. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and
> is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and
> try sending again. (The beauty of this one is that when you return, you
> can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over.)
>
>
> 8. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queueing
> system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a
> reply in approximately 19 weeks.
>
>
> 9. Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you got this
> message.
>
>
> 10. I am on holiday. Your e-mail has been deleted.
>
>
> 11. Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by
> your PC for my response.
>
>
> 12. Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother
> to leave me any messages. I've run away to join a different circus.
>
>
> AND, FINALLY, ABSOLUTELY THE BEST:
>
>
> 13. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical
> reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Loretta' instead of
> 'Steve'.
>
>
> uniform across the company.
>
> Please choose an appropriate response from the list below.
>
>
>
>
> 1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I
> fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
>
>
> 2. I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.
>
>
> 3. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of
> the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received
> anything at all.
>
>
> 4. Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain
> removed so that I may be promoted to management.
>
>
> 5. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you
> send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and
> your mail will
> be deleted in the order it was received.
>
>
> 6. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99
> for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your
> message
>
>
> 7. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and
> is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and
> try sending again. (The beauty of this one is that when you return, you
> can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over.)
>
>
> 8. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queueing
> system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a
> reply in approximately 19 weeks.
>
>
> 9. Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you got this
> message.
>
>
> 10. I am on holiday. Your e-mail has been deleted.
>
>
> 11. Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by
> your PC for my response.
>
>
> 12. Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother
> to leave me any messages. I've run away to join a different circus.
>
>
> AND, FINALLY, ABSOLUTELY THE BEST:
>
>
> 13. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical
> reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Loretta' instead of
> 'Steve'.
>
>