RavenKittie
17-03-2005, 07:14 AM
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Exclusive Michael Jackson Trial Testimony
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This is Ivan Youngblood, T-Shirt Hell's crack investigative reporter coming
to you live from the Michael Jackson trial.
First, there are a couple things I want to get off my chest.
Personally, I don't give a . what other people say. I like the court
room appearances. I like a man who's comfortable enough in a court room
to show up in his pajamas and just 'hang out'. I like the fact that we never
see M.J. and La Toya at the same time. I like Thai food and I love to take
bubble baths in Thai peanut sauce.
And by the way, did anybody ever stop and think about whether this kid that
he pork sexed enjoyed it? I love how it's always the adult's fault. Like
there are no .ing slutty kids.
Anyway, who cares if Michael Jackson cums in little boy's assholes, as long
as he keeps making hits!!!
OK, I have to be quiet as court is now in session.
(Michael Jackson gets out of his seat. A hush falls over the courtroom as
he moonwalks to the stand.)
Court Officer: Please place your sparkly glove on this Bible.
(The Bible bursts into flames. Jackson is sworn in. The lawyer begins his
questions.)
Attorney: Michael, tell us about your relationship with the defendant.
MJ: He's a slut. He started showing up in sexy outfits; tight little pants
and t-shirts, with little tubes in his arms. He was so bald, pale, and
slender, from the chemotherapy, it was almost more than I could take. He
looked like the kid in, "Powder". He seduced me.
Attorney: He seduced you?
MJ: Yes, he started off slow. We were in my treasure room and I was
showing him my jewelry. He wanted me to give him some, but I refused. So,
he came on to me. He said, "Michael I want a pearl necklace! Will you give
me a pearl necklace?"
Attorney: So, the boy wanted jewelry?
MJ: Maybe at first. Fortunately, I was able to restrain myself. I left
the room, and quickly jerked off to "Home Alone." But he wasn't done with
his plan of seduction.
Attorney: Please, go on.
(Michael Jackson takes out a tissue and dabs his eyes. He wipes his nose
which falls off, and lands in his lap. Everyone pretends not to notice as
he quickly puts it back on.)
MJ: I took him to my trophy room and showed him the Elephant Man's
skeleton. He asked for a piece. I said no. So he turned on the seduction.
He said, "I want to bone! I want to bone!"
Attorney: Is it possible he said, "I want a bone?"
MJ: Yeah, right. Then one day my chef was making me lunch. The little
scamp asked if he could help. I said no. So, he starts in with the sex
talk. He said, "Michael I want to toss your salad. Please, Michael; can I
toss your salad?"
Attorney: So the boy wanted to help with the first course?
MJ: What are you deaf? Again I restrained myself. Then one day I was
blowing bubbles in my private zoo.
Attorney: I assume you mean Bubbles, your pet chimp?
MJ: No, of course not. Soap bubbles! That's just another stupid, baseless
rumor. I've never blown Bubbles. I've given him a couple rim jobs, but
that's the extent of our relationship.
Attorney: I'm sorry, please continue.
MJ: Anyway, we were in my private zoo. My accuser had built me a cage,
shaped like a donkey, entirely out of candy.
Attorney: A cage, made out of candy, shaped like a donkey?
MJ: Yes, when he built it, he said he thought it would be a good place for
me to keep my oversized, prize rooster. It didn't seem practical, but he
was insistent. Then out of nowhere. I'm sorry; it's difficult for me to
continue.
Attorney: Please it's important.
MJ: He began pleading with me, "Michael, please put your big - in my
sweet ass! I'm begging you to put your big - in my sweet ass. Well it
was more than I could take. I'm the victim here. Honestly can you blame
me?
Attorney: I have no further questions.
MJ: Hey, why is everybody in the jury vomiting?
It's funny. On the news they said that Michael Jackson likes to drink, and
masturbate to internet porn. Who knew he was such a regular guy?
-------------------------------------------------------------
Exclusive Michael Jackson Trial Testimony
-------------------------------------------------------------
This is Ivan Youngblood, T-Shirt Hell's crack investigative reporter coming
to you live from the Michael Jackson trial.
First, there are a couple things I want to get off my chest.
Personally, I don't give a . what other people say. I like the court
room appearances. I like a man who's comfortable enough in a court room
to show up in his pajamas and just 'hang out'. I like the fact that we never
see M.J. and La Toya at the same time. I like Thai food and I love to take
bubble baths in Thai peanut sauce.
And by the way, did anybody ever stop and think about whether this kid that
he pork sexed enjoyed it? I love how it's always the adult's fault. Like
there are no .ing slutty kids.
Anyway, who cares if Michael Jackson cums in little boy's assholes, as long
as he keeps making hits!!!
OK, I have to be quiet as court is now in session.
(Michael Jackson gets out of his seat. A hush falls over the courtroom as
he moonwalks to the stand.)
Court Officer: Please place your sparkly glove on this Bible.
(The Bible bursts into flames. Jackson is sworn in. The lawyer begins his
questions.)
Attorney: Michael, tell us about your relationship with the defendant.
MJ: He's a slut. He started showing up in sexy outfits; tight little pants
and t-shirts, with little tubes in his arms. He was so bald, pale, and
slender, from the chemotherapy, it was almost more than I could take. He
looked like the kid in, "Powder". He seduced me.
Attorney: He seduced you?
MJ: Yes, he started off slow. We were in my treasure room and I was
showing him my jewelry. He wanted me to give him some, but I refused. So,
he came on to me. He said, "Michael I want a pearl necklace! Will you give
me a pearl necklace?"
Attorney: So, the boy wanted jewelry?
MJ: Maybe at first. Fortunately, I was able to restrain myself. I left
the room, and quickly jerked off to "Home Alone." But he wasn't done with
his plan of seduction.
Attorney: Please, go on.
(Michael Jackson takes out a tissue and dabs his eyes. He wipes his nose
which falls off, and lands in his lap. Everyone pretends not to notice as
he quickly puts it back on.)
MJ: I took him to my trophy room and showed him the Elephant Man's
skeleton. He asked for a piece. I said no. So he turned on the seduction.
He said, "I want to bone! I want to bone!"
Attorney: Is it possible he said, "I want a bone?"
MJ: Yeah, right. Then one day my chef was making me lunch. The little
scamp asked if he could help. I said no. So, he starts in with the sex
talk. He said, "Michael I want to toss your salad. Please, Michael; can I
toss your salad?"
Attorney: So the boy wanted to help with the first course?
MJ: What are you deaf? Again I restrained myself. Then one day I was
blowing bubbles in my private zoo.
Attorney: I assume you mean Bubbles, your pet chimp?
MJ: No, of course not. Soap bubbles! That's just another stupid, baseless
rumor. I've never blown Bubbles. I've given him a couple rim jobs, but
that's the extent of our relationship.
Attorney: I'm sorry, please continue.
MJ: Anyway, we were in my private zoo. My accuser had built me a cage,
shaped like a donkey, entirely out of candy.
Attorney: A cage, made out of candy, shaped like a donkey?
MJ: Yes, when he built it, he said he thought it would be a good place for
me to keep my oversized, prize rooster. It didn't seem practical, but he
was insistent. Then out of nowhere. I'm sorry; it's difficult for me to
continue.
Attorney: Please it's important.
MJ: He began pleading with me, "Michael, please put your big - in my
sweet ass! I'm begging you to put your big - in my sweet ass. Well it
was more than I could take. I'm the victim here. Honestly can you blame
me?
Attorney: I have no further questions.
MJ: Hey, why is everybody in the jury vomiting?
It's funny. On the news they said that Michael Jackson likes to drink, and
masturbate to internet porn. Who knew he was such a regular guy?
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