Hal
09-12-2003, 03:26 PM
The real proof of human stupidity can be highlited by the helmet. What was happening, apparently, was that we where taking part in alot of head splitting activities, and so, instead of ceasing to take part in these activities, we developed the helmet. This thin piece of plastic or metal allowed us to continue our skull splitting activites with confidence that our brain would be safe within this fortress.
Even more stupid than the helmet, is the helmet law, which was invented because not enough people where wearing helmets. The idea behind the helmet law, is to preserve a brain whose judgement is so poor, it does not even try to stop the cracking of the head its encased in. -Hal
And now for some others.
Consumer Goods:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos:! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this ! save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw:" Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in ! other words send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while
Stupid People should have to wear a sign that said "im stupid".
That way, you would think twice before entrusting them with nuclear devices etc.
Back in the days when i drove a 16 wheeler, i had to drive under a bridge and i misjudged the height, and wouldnt you know it, my truck got stuck. i jumped on the CB and asked for assistance, and within an hour, a cop turned up. He started asking the usual questions, and i could see quite clearly that this guy was in need of a sign. but it was when he asked "truck get stuck?" that i couldnt help myself, i replied "no, im delivering a bridge, here it is".
the other day me and a bud went fishing, we return and i pulled out a big string o'bass and layed em on the warf. a dude standing there asked "you catch all them?", and i replied "nup, talked em into giving up" ...heres your sign dumbass.
see, if these people wore signs, i could allow for stupid comments.[/b]
Even more stupid than the helmet, is the helmet law, which was invented because not enough people where wearing helmets. The idea behind the helmet law, is to preserve a brain whose judgement is so poor, it does not even try to stop the cracking of the head its encased in. -Hal
And now for some others.
Consumer Goods:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos:! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this ! save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw:" Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in ! other words send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while
Stupid People should have to wear a sign that said "im stupid".
That way, you would think twice before entrusting them with nuclear devices etc.
Back in the days when i drove a 16 wheeler, i had to drive under a bridge and i misjudged the height, and wouldnt you know it, my truck got stuck. i jumped on the CB and asked for assistance, and within an hour, a cop turned up. He started asking the usual questions, and i could see quite clearly that this guy was in need of a sign. but it was when he asked "truck get stuck?" that i couldnt help myself, i replied "no, im delivering a bridge, here it is".
the other day me and a bud went fishing, we return and i pulled out a big string o'bass and layed em on the warf. a dude standing there asked "you catch all them?", and i replied "nup, talked em into giving up" ...heres your sign dumbass.
see, if these people wore signs, i could allow for stupid comments.[/b]