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23-12-2003, 07:52 AM
Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kids with fake IDs.
-- Homer Simpson
Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
-- Homer Simpson
"Phfft! Facts. You can use them to prove anything.
-- Homer Simpson
I want to share something with you -- the three sentences that will get You through life. Number one, "Cover for me." Number two, "Oh, good idea, boss." Number three, "It was like that when I got here."
-- Homer Simpson
You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.
-- Homer Simpson
Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.
-- Homer Simpson
If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now quiet, They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
-- Homer Simpson
To alcohol! The cause of -- and solution to -- all of life's problems!
-- Homer Simpson
No offence Apu, but when they were handing out religions, you musta been out taking a whizz.
-- Homer Simpson
[ to store proprietor and Hindu, Apu Nahaasapeemapetilon ]
Marge, you're as pretty as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
-- Homer Simpson
Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty. "Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you."
-- Homer Simpson
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get!
-- Homer Simpson
Is there nothing doughnuts can't do?
-- Homer Simpson
Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.
-- Homer Simpson
Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.
-- Homer Simpson
We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughin', Did you?
-- Homer Simpson
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
-- Homer Simpson
Maybe, just once, someone will call me "sir" without adding, "you're making a scene."
-- Homer Simpson
Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time. Just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow. Well, good night.
-- Homer Simpson
It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.
-- Homer Simpson
Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harassing that woman.
-- Homer Simpson
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
-- Homer Simpson
-- Homer Simpson
Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
-- Homer Simpson
"Phfft! Facts. You can use them to prove anything.
-- Homer Simpson
I want to share something with you -- the three sentences that will get You through life. Number one, "Cover for me." Number two, "Oh, good idea, boss." Number three, "It was like that when I got here."
-- Homer Simpson
You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.
-- Homer Simpson
Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.
-- Homer Simpson
If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now quiet, They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
-- Homer Simpson
To alcohol! The cause of -- and solution to -- all of life's problems!
-- Homer Simpson
No offence Apu, but when they were handing out religions, you musta been out taking a whizz.
-- Homer Simpson
[ to store proprietor and Hindu, Apu Nahaasapeemapetilon ]
Marge, you're as pretty as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
-- Homer Simpson
Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty. "Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you."
-- Homer Simpson
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get!
-- Homer Simpson
Is there nothing doughnuts can't do?
-- Homer Simpson
Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.
-- Homer Simpson
Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.
-- Homer Simpson
We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughin', Did you?
-- Homer Simpson
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
-- Homer Simpson
Maybe, just once, someone will call me "sir" without adding, "you're making a scene."
-- Homer Simpson
Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time. Just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow. Well, good night.
-- Homer Simpson
It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.
-- Homer Simpson
Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harassing that woman.
-- Homer Simpson
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
-- Homer Simpson